What is Solo Parenting? A Brutally Honest Survival Guide

Let’s talk about the one thing that’ll age you faster than a pack-a-day habit and a shitty spray tan: solo parenting. No, I’m not divorced (though if Handy Andy says “cozy” or “chilly” one more time, I might file the paperwork pre-emptively). But lately, I’ve been solo-parenting—and by that I mean running the whole Schimmel hyphen Haas household solo while Andy’s off doing whatever men do (probably Googling “best cargo shorts for men in their 30s”).

There’s something so uniquely humbling about realizing that co-parenting isn’t just for divorced parents. Sometimes, it’s for moms whose partners have to work late, or get sick, or get to run around the country on tour with Teddy Swims. Asshole.

It’s equal parts empowering and deranged. One second, you’re like, “Look at me, keeping this small human alive while maintaining my skincare routine!” The next, you’re eating leftover dino nuggets over the sink because my son/boyfriend Clyde refused to eat anything that wasn’t beige. 

So today’s post is dedicated to every temporarily solo mom trying to survive the parenting grind without any backup. I’m talking about what solo parenting is, how it’s different from single parenting, and how the hell you survive it. All while somehow not turning into a feral bitch with a wine habit.

What Is Solo Parenting? A Brutally Honest Survival Guide

Solo parenting is exactly what it sounds like: looking after your kid(s) alone while your partner is busy, away, or otherwise indisposed. Basically, you’re juggling the load of parenting without immediate help. And no, it’s not about divorce or being a single parent. Though single moms and dads who do this full-time deserve an award, because what the fuck.

This post will help you understand solo parenting and remind you that even the most verkakte mornings can be survived with humor, coffee, and my podcast episode where I talk about my version of solo parenting.

What Is Solo Parenting vs Single Parenting?

Now, let’s break it down without sugarcoating it:

Single Parenting: You’re the primary caregiver because you don’t have a partner in the picture. You’re handling everything, hopefully with the support of a network of family or friends. Aka my worst nightmare. Andrew is stuck with me at least until Clyde turns 18.

Solo Parenting: You still have a partner somewhere on the premises (or in life), but right now? You’re doing it all alone. The partner could be at work, on a business trip, “taking a mental health day,” or just engaged in mysterious activities that remove them from the parental equation. In this case, you’re both the CEO and the janitor of your household.

You’re the only parent handling bedtime meltdowns, school runs, snack logistics, and Clyde shitting in the bathtub. And if that’s not exhausting enough, imagine doing it while knowing that Andrew is on some glamorous writer’s retreat in Malibu, drinking champagne and writing tunes with the dudes.

What Are the Causes of Single Parenting?

Even if you’re in a relationship, solo parenting happens. Some common scenarios include:

• Your partner is traveling for work.

• Illness or injury temporarily puts you in solo mode.

• Your partner is physically present but emotionally unavailable.

• You simply need a solo week to test your sanity.

• Your partner is busy with personal projects or hobbies.

Even temporary solo parenting is exhausting. It requires juggling parental responsibilities, household management, and keeping your kid(s) relatively happy, all while staying alive yourself.

How to Survive Single Parenting

Okay, whether it’s a week or a month, here’s how to fly solo without losing your mind:

Build a Support Network (and Actually Use It)

Phone a friend. Text your mom. Whatever gets you through, do it. Ask for help—you’re not auditioning for “World’s Strongest Woman.” Even the most challenging (AKA exhausting) (AKA again infuriating) days are totally survivable when someone else listens to your rant, brings coffee, or babysits while you nap for 20 glorious minutes. If you’ve got a sister that lives nearby, chuck that baby her way.

Create Routines That Work for You

Routines = sanity. But forget anyone else’s idea of “perfect”. If brushing your teeth while watching Ms. Rachel counts as your version of self-care, do it. And if breakfast is cold cereal eaten on the way to school? Hell yeah. Consistency matters more than perfection—tiny stacked routines keep you from losing your shit.

Lower the Damn Bar

For God’s sake, stop trying to do it all. You’re not Martha Stewart; you’re surviving. Your kid doesn’t need a Pinterest-perfect snack or themed birthday party every week. Poptarts for dinner? Okay, at least they’re eating! Juice box over the carpet? Also fine. You’re present, and that’s what matters.

Stop Comparing

Comparison is toxic as fuck. Your family doesn’t look like everyone else’s, and that’s fine. The kid will survive, you will survive, and there’s zero shame in your unique chaos. Toys all over the floor? You’ll get them later—or you won’t! Mismatched socks one day? That’s trendy, baby. 

Remember: You’re Still You

Parenting solo doesn’t erase your personality or who you are. Keep your hobbies, your friendships, your martinis, and yes, your Netflix binges. You’re allowed to exist outside of parent mode.

Laugh Through the Chaos

The absurdity of solo parenting is absolutely unmatched. Laugh at the painting-on-the-dog moments, the macaroni on the floor, and the inevitable toddler meltdown. Humor is survival. And remember—your child can steal your heart and sanity all at once. Ah, the joys of parenthood.

Forgive Yourself Constantly

You will lose your temper. You will make mistakes. You will cry in your car in a Target parking lot while eating a rogue granola bar. None of this means you’re failing. It means you care. You’re doing something real, messy, and hard, and it’s beautiful in its own way.

Do Something for YOU

Even if your partner isn’t gone permanently, you need time away. Plan a solo trip, a spa day, or just a two-hour walk. Or, you know, a solo Paris adventure. I lived it with my solo Paris itinerary. No man, no meltdown. Just me, a map, and a croissant-induced existential crisis.

Solo parenting is all about surviving, thriving, and maybe screaming into a pillow…

Solo parenting, even temporarily, isn’t glamorous. It’s messy, chaotic, hilarious, and exhausting. It’s everything at once. The good, the bad, and the “how is this my life?” moments. Here’s to the solo parents, temporary or permanent, who raise kids while juggling work, life, and sanity. 

Pour yourselves a drink, binge some Real Housewives of New York, and remember: you’re doing a damn good job, even if you’ve got macaroni in your hair. Now go listen to The Bitch Bible Podcast. Because if you’re going to parent solo, you might as well do it with a little laughter—and brutal honesty.